Some days we feel good, very motivated, grateful, or excited. But let’s be honest – there are other days that we may not feel like getting out of bed, we feel nostalgic, tired, and that everything is “bad”, or we are not sure what is going on with our lives. Do any of these sound familiar?
As we go through these feelings, what do we do?
Well, most of us may think, “I don’t like this”, “everything is ok and I should not feel sad”, or “what is wrong with me?” Or maybe we spend most of our time wondering what’s wrong or trying to make the feeling go away. The truth is that sadness, as well as happiness, anger, excitement among others, is an emotion. All emotions are valid and they exist for a reason.
Your feelings matter and that maybe, instead of trying to hide or run from them, or hope they go away on their own, we can try to face them with kindness, love, and strength.
Please keep in mind that that I am not talking about excessive feelings of sadness for long periods of time and symptoms of depression. I am talking about that emotion when things don’t go the way we want, we miss someone very close to us, we realize things around us are changing, or someone did something that hurt us. Regardless of the reason, your emotions are valid and acknowledging them is the first step to cope with them.
First, lets describe how sadness feels for you.
- Maybe it fells like having no energy, no interest in doing things we like for a short period of time, or just feeling physically tired for no specific reason. By describing how this emotion feels physically and emotionally, you are taking control of it. Doing that helps to cope. But, what about if we cry? Crying is a good thing! Someone told me once that crying is like breathing when it comes to emotions because it helps us to be present.
- Then, lets practice some self-awareness. Notice what is around you, close your eyes, take a deep breath. Remember my last blog post? It offers great guidance to stay in the moment and name your feelings in the moment.
- Contacting someone who is supportive is very helpful. It can be someone you are in contact frequently or someone whom you haven’t talked to in a long time. Wouldn’t it be nice to reconnect with a former friend or relative and laugh about what you guys used to do together?
- Let’s name 3 things about yourself that you are proud of. This is one of my favorite exercises. But let’s do more than naming them; lets remember how hard we had to work to accomplish them. Look at all the work you had to do to be at this point after accomplishing the thing that you are proud of. What does it say about you? That you rock!
Recognizing that we are sad is not bad, it is healthy!
Recognizing and accepting that we have uncomfortable feelings is healthy. It helps you to stay in contact with your inner self and also to recognize when others are having a challenging day.
Remember there is nothing wrong with feeling sad. The question is whether you are going to let the emotion control you or are you are going to understand your feelings by staying present physically and emotionally?
If the feelings of sadness are excessive and are affecting many aspects of your life and/or how you relate to others, talking to a trained therapist can help.