When we go through life changes, whether they are expected or unexpected, we still have to deal with it.
Every time we are considering making a change such as
- Changing jobs
- Going back to school
- Breaking up from a relationship
- Going back to work after being sick or on maternity leave
…or going through a new experience(s) (whether is expected or not) such as:
- Having a baby
- Getting married
- Going to a new school
- Losing someone
- Getting divorced or breaking up
When we go through change, we are definitely going to experience lots of thoughts and feelings. Some of those may be nice and exciting and others not so much. Sometimes we tend to “deal” with the fear or confusion of facing something new by procrastinating or blaming ourselves for not being able to handle all of the changes. Then, we are likely to face others stressors as a consequence of not acknowledging that something changed or is changing. Maybe we are making random mistakes, or feeling sad, unorganized, irritable, and vulnerable among other things. The truth of the matter is that something is not right and perhaps we don’t feel ourselves.
Have you ever felt like that?
If so, maybe these little steps could help you to get out of this vicious cycle of not feeling yourself: I suggest doing this at the beginning or end of the day:
- First, take deep breath (inhale through your nose until there is no more room for more air, hold for five seconds, then, exhale (slowly) through your mouth (repeat at least 4 times.)
- Then, take a quick mindful look around; it is likely you will become aware of some physical changes in your surroundings, your routine, or life setting.
- Go deeper and pay attention to your feelings. You may notice fear, happiness, worry, excitement, and sadness about what is going on. Perhaps what you notice doesn’t have a name but it is psychically comfortable or uncomfortable. Either way is OK because those are YOUR feelings.
- Acknowledging them, even the uncomfortable feelings, will help you tremendously to cope with the effects of change.
You see, our feelings exist for a reason whether we like them or not. Can you imagine how much time we could save if instead of avoiding them, we face them?
I know, it sounds easier said than done, but knowing what you feel or how it feels helps you to be present and not to be so hard on yourself. You are facing a change and it takes time to adjust. Recognizing how we feel or even knowing that “something is not right” and is a great way start dealing with changes.
Asking for professional help, talking to others, or engaging in activities you enjoy is a great way to start adjusting and honoring what you are going through. Part of change is developing a new version of you.